The Talk with McGonagall
by Limes-ade
Summary: McGonagall calls James into her office to give him a few tips on winning the girl.


I own nothing.

"Potter, step into my office." James strutted into McGonagall's office with a smirk. She scowled as he flopped down noisily in the chair across from her.

"So, what have you caught me doing this time?" She rolled her eyes, then turned serious. Her mouth became thin, and she stared long enough for James to become a little worried.

"Uh...Nothing serious happened, right?" She kept staring until he was quite uncomfortable. He didn't remember doing anything _too _bad...At least nothing that warranted suspension...

"You need to lay off Evans, Potter." He stared back, completely taken off guard. He gawked at her for a minute before sputtering out,

"What?"

"Lay off Evans." The words sounded so similar to what Remus had said not an hour ago that he almost laughed aloud.

"Why would I do that?" She looked at him a moment.

"You actually do like her, right? A lot, correct?" He shifted uncomfortably. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having, and especially not with this person.

"Well...yes. That is rather obvious."

"I mean more than those idiotic lines you say." he stared a moment, completely baffled at why he was discussing his love life with a professor.

"Well, yes, I like her more than that. What am I supposed to say?"

"Not what you do say, for sure. I mean, everyone here knows you like her. For the Lord's sake, Poland knows you like her. But the way you profess it is not showing that you are doing this for anything more than amusement or general admiration. You are making a fool of yourself, and ruining you chances with the girl." he sat a moment looking at her in disbelief.

"Um...okay?"

"No, it isn't. If you really like her, you need to change your tactics." She leaned in a bit to look him in the eye. "You need to lay off. You need to stop saying cringe worthy pick up lines, you need to quit with public displays, you must stop telling her she likes you, and you must stop acting like she is the insane one. You must stop asking her out! If you want her, you need to _not let her know you like her._"

"That's mental!" James leaned in. "She has to know I like her so she can return the sentiments without worry or anything. And how can she say yes without me asking?"

"TIMING!" McGonagall yelled, flailing her arms. James jumped back in surprise. "Timing James! You are HORRENDOUS about it! Ask her when APPROPRIATE, and when she may have a chance of not publicly agreeing! Trust me James, if you just back off and give her time away from you, she will become much more fond of you." He frowned.

"That doesn't make any sense. She needs to be near me to become fond of me."

"NO! She needs space to even see you. All she sees is you in her face saying stupid things. You never get a chance to show her how intelligent or loyal you are. You have admirable traits James, a bucketful of them, but she doesn't even get a chance to see them because when she is around you, you act like a blundering fool. Step back and let her observe you. Let her see the real you."

"But if I am not constantly showing her I'm there, she will ignore me."

"After this many years, I can almost guarantee she cannot ignore you even if she wanted to." James tapped the sofa for a minute, in thought.

"But, if I am not professing that I love her, and she does get to like me, she will think I will settle for being her friend."

"Then settle for friendship." James stared back, mouth open.

"No way in hell!" McGongall flapped her hand at him to calm down.

"Relax. After you settle for being friends with her, she will get to know you, and like you as a friend. Relationships start with friendship, they all do. Let her like you like that. Then, turn on the Potter charm the entire world knows you have. You have enough to ensure you aren't expelled, so it should be a walk in the park to get a girl to like you." James smiled a bit. McGonagall was often the recipient of that charm. It worked well on her.

"Plus James, you aren't really one that seems like he gets put in the 'friend zone' often." He looked up sharply.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Quidditch captain? Annoyingly smart? Amazingly persistent? Completely charming? Rich? Do the math James. How many girls have said no to you? Honestly?"

"One." he grumbled. McGonagall chuckled.

"Exactly. Listen to me. Lay off her. It's the only way."

"Well then...for how long? I can probably go like...a week?" McGonagall rolled her eyes.

"As long as it takes. I was thinking, shortest, probably a year." James eyes almost popped out.

"A YEAR! I can't go three minutes without talking to her! I was going on the longest I could possibly do with a week. This is impossible. No way. I am staying on my tactic."

"Which has worked so well." He was silent. If this worked, the pros would well out weigh the cons. But if it didn't, he lost a year of being around her.

"Listen, you have done a lot of damage where she is concerned. You and Black." Her eyes narrowed just at Sirius's name. She continued. "But, you can fix it. I have utter and complete faith in you. She will like you. Just let her see why she wants to. Become friends with her, then, after an appropriate amount of time, gently let her know at AN APPROPRIATE ALONE time, that the offer is still open." After a minute of silence, James nodded. He had to try it. Plus, Sirius would throw a party when he would hear the the whole Evans-obsession thing would be put on hold. Who knows, maybe it would make her miss him? You don't know what you have till it's gone, right? And if he found a girlfriend, maybe she would become jealous? And even if they just stayed friends, that was a large leap over what they were now. It couldn't hurt.

"Good."

"Professor? Why are you counseling me on my love life on a Saturday?" Her lips thinned, but her eyes sparkled.

"The amount of times you two disrupted my classroom...I am just trying to keep my sanity. I am sure you two will be more agreeable dating. Plus, I do want my students to be happy, and I think you two together could really make both of you quite happy." James smiled.

"Thanks Professor." he stood up to leave and walked to the door. There, he stopped and turned back. He knew he was pushing his luck a little, but he was never one to be safe.

"Should I really be taking relationship advice from a 60 year old woman who has never had a real relationship?" Her eyes narrowed to daggers. Her voice was like ice, completely clipped as she answered him.

"Out. Now Potter." he laughed as he ran out of the room, the renewed use of his surname not lost on him. He ran quickly up the stairs, eager to find Sirius and Remus to tell them of his new endeavor to win Lily Evans heart.


End file.
